The Unexpected Magic of Stopping Time
We’ve all heard it a million different times in a million different ways: be more present, there is peace in presence, be present to find gratitude, the greatest gift you can give someone is your presence, and so on. None of these statements are wrong, but they all neglect to identify the why.
I have been on a personal journey of healing for the last 5 years, and when I look back on my life, really the last 30+ years, I just didn’t know it yet. From 2019 - 2021 I felt like I was in a “tunnel of trauma” going through a devastating loss of one of my best friends, a traumatic end and delivery to my pregnancy, 5 weeks in the NICU with my daughter, a double mastectomy 9 months later with 3 additional surgeries to follow, and the estrangement of some of my immediate family members. It was like drinking from a firehose of trauma and it is no surprise that by the end of all of it, I was at my lowest. My body began to do anything it could do to get my attention with a myriad of ailments, which began my healing journey. While I started with the goal of healing physical ailments, it was the healing of my mental, emotional, and energetic states that was the true task.
In this healing process, meditation became a part of my life for the first time. It didn’t come easily at first and I honestly didn’t understand it. It has taken me years, and literally countless hours of meditating to get to a space of true meditation. I have many moments where elements of meditation have “clicked” and I will say that even when I didn’t understand meditation, and I wasn’t good at it, meditation has always been beneficial to me. Message me on instagram if you would like me to do a post on meditation itself with tips for beginners or anyone looking to deepen their practice.
It wasn’t until recently that meditation moved into its most freeing space to me, true presence. The concept is so simple, but really powerful when harnessed: the present moment is good and energetically positive.
Ok, so let’s break this down quickly. As humans, we tend to focus on the past or the future. This isn’t an error in our ways, but instead literally how we are wired. We are wired for survival, which means we must learn from our past and anticipate our future. For most of us, true survival comes relatively easily, so these resources end up getting focused on mental and emotional survival.
The emotions we humans hold onto most are hurt, shame, and fear. Hurt and shame live in the past, maybe it was as small as something someone said that was hurtful, or maybe it was a big hurt or trauma. Fear lives in the future, fear is an anticipation of hurt and shame, using our past to guide us.
The present moment however is void of hurt, shame, and fear. Simply put, the present moment is good. When you dive into the present moment, maybe through focusing on your breathing or your literal physical presence, the good reveals itself. Maybe the good is feeling air fill your lungs, and recognizing how the simple act of breathing fuels your entire body. Maybe the good is feeling where you are sitting, in a comfortable chair, or your car, and recognizing the gift it is to have a comfortable place to sit. Maybe the good is sitting in the presence of a loved one, knowing you are loved by them, and giving yourself a moment to recognize that you matter. There are infinite possibilities of good in the millisecond that is the present moment.
If you are struggling to find the good in the present moment, you are tightly holding onto the past or the future. Again, this isn’t wrong. It is just exhausting for our nervous systems and minds. My advice if this is you is to try to let the present moment be exactly what it is, a tiny moment in time. Let it find its separation from your mind, your life, your worries, and allow the present moment to simply be your breath filling your lungs. You can choose to focus on your breath as fuel for your body, the fact that Earth is kind of magically created to synchronize all of the living organisms to provide you with air that feeds your body exactly as it needs, or simply the peace a big belly breath can bring to your mind and body. However you get there, enjoy the moment away from your mind, grounded in your body.
When we learn to access the present moment as a moment of good, without the baggage we carry, we give ourselves a gift of peace. To be in the present moment allows your body to relax, which is more than a deep breath, it triggers a biochemical response throughout our body. For me, I was stuck in “fight or flight” for years, and again when looking back, most of my life. Are our bodies capable of living through fight or flight, sure, but there is a cost. In many ways, my body has paid a huge price for my mind sending it into overdrive. The present moment has been such an incredible gift I give to my body and my mind and one that has opened up my ability to heal more rapidly than ever before. If someone could patent it, it would be the greatest biohack on the market. The good news for all of us is that it is completely free and available to everyone at all moments.
Before we go, I invite you to take a deep breath, the kind that fills your belly. To give yourself a small amount of time, whatever is available to you, to focus on the good of that breath. Maybe you give it 4 seconds, maybe 1 minute, maybe 10. Just a small break from all of the chaos of the world to bring your mind back into your body and remember that this moment is good, and maybe even one day great.
